I feel so loved

Hello again!

Thanks to everyone who commented on my blog. You guys are the greatest. Lab photos are coming - I just needed to slink my way into their trust before taking pics of the place. :)

Flughafen, you can land at my place anytime. I just have to clear it with my pimp. Philly has some strange rules. Prototype man is chilling out just above my desk with full view of the bed, which is unfortunately not an exciting place at the moment. Matt, if you come up with any more limericks, I'll post them - I'm simply not creative enough to come up with any good ones on my own.

Anyway, I wanted to let you know what's been up in the past few weeks. Number one, all is well. I think the apt is finally situated and I can stop putting up shelving, rewiring outlets, causing a ruckus, etc. I would post a pic or two, but except for a picture or two, nothing really looks different. I promise it was a lot of work to make such a minimal difference!

There has been some fun in my life. I went to this weird Bastille Day "re-enactment," which in France is a celebration of the French Revolution and in Philly is a way for local businesses to make money. And I'm all for it! Fun times. Check out the pics here.

Bastille Day Photos

Otherwise, I've been going rock climbing, and biking, and of course lab work. At the moment I am swimming in new info and it's tons of fun. If I described what we do, some people might have large problems with it (it involves either killing or severely injuring and then killing baby pigs), but suffice it to say that we investigate the causes and therapies for brain injury in kids. For anyone who knows of my interest in seeing an animal die or dissecting something, these interests are being addressed.

Oh...and I cut my own hair. Just to see how it would work out. I would say not bad for my first try.


Finally, Kay came to visit and got hit on a couple girls, one who couldn't stop sticking her tongue down his throat while asking him (during breathing breaks) if he was gay. Like I said, Philly is weird.

Hope to hear from you soon!

You cannot believe how much dust had accumulated on this website! But it's good to be back.

I can't believe the stuff I used to write in my previous posts. Pretty heavy sh*t. I hope the future will remain light and airy.

So as you can see, I've decided to resurrect this blog from the grave in the hopes that some of you will read it (yay!)

The pics from Germany have been removed - I figured it's about time to look towards the future. To start things off, I've posted a Link to my pics from Barcelona and Milan. Just click on the hyper link to the left and go through the slide show.

As for current events, I am now finally settled in Philly. My apartment has been thoroughly cleaned, de-roached, and painted, and I now have my stuff 80% situtated. It was a long and arduous process and took me almost a full week.

Bedroom before painting and cleaning. (Thanks again to both mom and dad for all the help!)



There's an additional room for a kitchen and a decent bathroom, but I don't have my internet hooked up yet and it takes a little while to load the pics with my borrowed air-card. If you want to see more, you'll have to visit.

The location is good, at 13th and Chestnut direct in Center City and it's a 5-min train ride to campus. Sweet!

I visited my first lab today as well. It's so nice to go to work in sandals and shorts. Classes are interesting. I'm not sure how long I will continue to attend. :) Just as an FYI, I will be rotating between three different labs for 2 months at each. At the end of the three rotations, I then decide where I want to stay for the next 3.5 - 4 years. Which means, just as I remotely understand what everyone is talking about, I go somewhere else where it's all jibberish again. But I'm really excited to learn a lot.

Anyways, just my introduction to my new life as a grad student. Hope everyone is doing well and we all keep in touch.

Liebe Gruesse (with love)
spence

Deep Thoughts

Not to make myself sound too intellectual, (I tried to use some humor with an SNL reference), I wanted to catalog a few things I've recently discovered. This is also the official conversion of my weblog as a avenue of communication with friends to a personal, online diary. It's a little revealing, but I feel more motivated writing if I think, even on the off chance, that someone will read it.

In my travels and international experiences, I've seen, done and learned a lot. It's been one of those cliche but nonetheless monumental awakening experiences. However, I missed a lot as well. I began to think and see in broad strokes of differences - e.g. cultural differences and trends. I fell into the trap of categorizing. And what was worse, is I thought I knew better. Back in the USA, I've felt very under-stimulated, and turned off. The opportunities for growth and the differences here are not in my face and dealing with them is not necessary for survival. But with this comfort level with the vast majority of things surrounding me, I've also begun to reinspect the details and individual differences that have just as much significance as the cultural ones. Especially the differences of talents and deficits in myself.

This last week and today I was reminded of the difficulties and strengths of a close relationship. I was reminded of the talents and maturity of a good friend. I was reminded of the ability to agree with someone, but at the same time feel like you are arguing. That arguing emphasis is vain when the truth is held by balance, and that arguing on emphasis is often more an ego thing than trying to find agreement. remined of the importance and subtleties of communication, and of the necessity of active and frequent commincation in a good relationship. i remember that communication is incomplete and that the various methods of communication (language, music, pictures, expressions, etc) are limited in their capacity to communicate. To recognize that there is a difference between the merits of your argument and your own persuasive abilities, and to know when to concede when you powers of persuasion are feeble, despite the convictions of your argument. To remeber what real love is, and what just feels good or comfortable. To recognize the pain and shame of being challenged and truly admiting your wrong, and remember that i need and expect to be challenged by those i love. that no matter how much you've seen or learned, there's always more. and to remember that i will still continue to forget this and need a reminder, the more i learn and see.

i've learned to recognize my weaknesses, to always try to improve them and struggle with this effort, but to also recognize my strengths, and that happiness and success comes from applying your strengths, not your weaknesses. i've learned that no decision or idea can be proven, that some ideas seem more likely than others, but we all still have our own threshold for persuasion, which depends not only on us but on others. That our decision-making process and this threshold is different for personal and professional decisions. that some people are optimisitic/naive or pessimistic/realistic, and in the end you need to make the decision that makes you happy. and that if you are optimistic/naive and often take a few too many risks without due diligence, then you should have a plan B or recourse in case it was a mistake (e.g. 6 month lease).

i've learned that i'm much happier having tried and failed, then not having tried. i've learned that i'm egotistical and use information/experience as power or expression of "betterness". i've learned that i can recognize this and have a hard time changing it, because it's part of being human. i'm coming to accept that i'll never have the answers or know what i want or what to do, but i'm becoming more comfortable acting and making decisions without having figuring that out. i coming to accept that there may be no answers, but that it's not all a shot in the dark - it's about probablities and being able to accept/take real risk (the risk that can cause serious bad consequences). and with that, to have back-up plans (even really easy silly ones) in case it does.

i believe my life will be a constant battle of the mind with the heart; of finding that proper balance of analysis with over-rationalization. i believe for most people (or maybe just me), inspriation or motivation doesn't come from a vacuum of within, but develops with experience with a topic and finding solutions to the questions with which we've been presented, rather than picking a question yourself and then trying to find the solution.

i believe that i'm tired. see ya

Tatsachen ueber Bethlehem

So Bethlehem is not the birthplace of Jesus - at least here in Pennsylvania.

But....

On Christmas Eve in 1741, Nicolaus Ludwig Zinzendorf of Saxony, Germany, leading a small group of Moravians, founded the city of Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.....

The Bethlehem Steel Corporation, founded in 1904, began producing the first wide-flange structural shapes to be made in America, was the first company to produce the now-ubiquitous 'I-beam', and was a major supplier of armor plate and ordnance products during World War I and World War II. After roughly 140 years of metal production at its Bethlehem plant, Bethlehem Steel ceased operations in Bethlehem in 1995.

Bethlehem lies in the center the Lehigh Valley...home to more than 650,000 people...making it Pennsylvania's third-largest metropolitan area.

In July 2006, Money magazine included Bethlehem as one of its "Top 100 Places to Live."

As of the census^GR2 of 2000, there were 71,329 people...residing in the city...81.85% White...26.6% from 25 to 44...11.1% of families and 15.0% of the population...below the poverty line.

The median age was 36 years...For every 100 females age 18 and over, there were 88.6 males.

The median income for a household in the city was $35,815, and the median income for a family was $45,354.

The current mayor of Bethlehem is John B. Callahan, who was elected to his 2nd term in November of 2005. His election marks the 10th year that a Democrat has sat in the mayor's office in Bethlehem.

Notable people from Bethlehem:

Michael Andretti, professional racing team owner, former professional race car driver.
Dwayne Johnson ("The Rock"), professional wrestler and actor.
Jonathan Taylor Thomas, actor

If that's not enough info for you:

The Moravians were some of the earliest Protestants, rebelling against the authority of Rome more than a hundred years before Martin Luther...

The movement which would develop into the Moravian Church was started by a priest named Jan Hus in the late fourteenth century. Hus, sensitive of the [catholic] church's misconducts, wanted to return the practices of the church to the allegedly "purer" practices of early Christianity: liturgy in the language of the people, having lay people receive communion in both kinds (bread and wine), and eliminating indulgences and the idea of purgatory.

Nikolaus Ludwig von Zinzendorf was a nobleman born in 1700 in Dresden, Saxony, in the east of modern-day Germany...Out of a personal commitment to helping the poor and needy, Zinzendorf agreed to a request from an itinerant carpenter named Christian David that persecuted Protestants from Moravia should be allowed to settle on his lands.

In 1722 the refugees established a new village called Herrnhut...and became the centre of a major movement for Christian renewal and mission during the 18th century. Moravian historians identify the main achievements of this period as:

1) Setting a up a watch of continuous prayer which ran uninterrupted, 24 hours a day, for 100 years.

2) The origination of the Losungen, the "Daily Watchwords," on 3 May 1728, published today in 50 languages, the oldest and most widely read daily devotional work in the world.

3) The establishment of over 30 settlements globally on the Herrnhut model, which emphasised a lifestyle of prayer and worship and a form of communal living in which personal property was still held but simplicity of lifestyle and generosity with wealth were considered important spiritual attributes.

4) The sending out of hundreds of Christian missionaries to many parts of the world including the Caribbean, North and South America, the Arctic, Africa, and the Far East. The Moravian missionaries were the first large scale Protestant missionary movement.

The original unsuccessful attempt to found a Moravian community in North America was in Georgia; the Moravians later found a home in Pennsylvania, where the charter of the colony provided religious freedom. The towns of Bethlehem, Nazareth, Emmaus, and Lititz, Pennsylvania were founded as Moravian communities.

Presently, the highest concentrations of Moravians [in the USA] exist in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania...The largest concentration of Moravians today is in Tanzania.

The motto of the Moravian church is "In essentials, unity; in nonessentials, liberty; and in all things, love"

source: Wikipeida (the best damn encyclopedia in the world!)

So, in summary, I live in the Salt Lake City of the East which is one of the top 100 places to live with poor people (15% below the poverty line!) and tons of women. Come visit!

Hey Hey

What up my people..

Some new news to report. Overall though, I would have to say that this just feels like work. I think I will start sending out emails to make sure people see what I have written. But of course only to those I miss speaking to on a regular occasion and really should be picking up the phone and calling. But you can't send pics over the phone, so this really does serve a purpose.

I've been in Bethlehem now for about a week. Although I started working amost a month ago, I haven't actually worked in the office for a full week yet. First training in Detroit, then thanksgiving, then testing in baltimore, and now this week. Things are good. I have my very own cubicle. It's very nice. I use my German on a daily basis and I even think it is somehow improving here. (Ich habe die Worter Raendel, Zylinderkerbstift, Fase, Steigung, und Teilung gerlernt!). I'm settling in and it's too early to see how much I like working. I def don't love it yet, but it could get better.

Right now life is really busy (as if it usually isn't). I wake up at 6:30, which I know, isn't very early for many of you, but I don't like it. I am looking for an apartment and need to do all the other little thing one obsesses with in a new place. Anyway, things are good.

here are some pics to give you a feel of my life:

This is the old and abandoned Bethlehem Steel plant along the Lehigh River. It's very impressive and a large section of the riverside is still abandoned. It was the 2nd largest producer of steel for ships in the USA during WWII and the third largest steel manufacturer in the world! Now look at it.

The next pic gives you an idea of the area of Lehigh Valley. Sparce. But not so bad. It's like the farmlands around aachen. I went to some meeting for the Lehigh Valley Hospital tonight (I got a flu vaccination) and they were saying how this area is the fastest growing region in Pennsylvania and the third fastest in the country (that I find hard to believe). But there is a lot of development here. In any case, the views are picturesque.


A funny sign




And something I didn't expect is that Bethlehem is pretty German. I think the original settlers here were from Germany. it's a pre-rev war town and many of the homes with signs in front of them have german last names. (i still need to take the tour). Anyway, they had a christmas market here that is supossed to be in the style of a German Weihnachtsmarkt. For somewhere in the US, it's not bad.



The bratwurst was also okay but the Kartoffelpuffern (Latkas) were not.





The other problem I have here is that my internet is unbelieveably slow in my hotel/apt. It sucks and I will probably not be doing this again before I move.

be good.....your one and only

Feeling a little confused with what to do next

Well I am back writing.....Sometimes in English, maybe sometimes in German, but at least writing. There may be nothing really worth reading here, but I wanted to have some type of contact with those I never seem to connect with, and I hope this somewhat helps.

What is new in my life (Neuigkeiten? tscha). I have a car. I bought it last week and only 5 miles from the dealership, the tire blew out. I brought it back, they fixed it and about two days later, the same tire was flat. Plus, the engine and internal air filters have never been changed. We brought it back and everything should get worked out. Buying a used car is a hassle, but see how pretty she is.


It's like a mini SUV....not exactly a pimp mobile, but it gets the job done and is actually a decent ride.

I started work on Friday. Nothing earht shattering. My job is to design a compiant support system that would be implanted in the body and screw into someone's vertebrae. It would take the loads off of a herniated disk for example, allow it to possibly heal and then they could remove it (that is the idea at least). It's a different idea than the more figid rixation type of therapies and it allows me to learn a lot of biomechanics, which will be fun. Now I am in Detroit learning the solid-modeling program CATIA (franzoesisch). Next week I finally move out of the house and to Bethlehem PA. As it may be very boring, I emcourage you all to call me and plan trips and maybe even see each other.

Other things: I went to the Halloween parade in NYC about 2 weeks ago. That was very cool, like Karneval in Germany. The USA (at least in NYC) still doesn't like French people. See advertisement for Fiji water that I fotographed in the subway. And I am very tired and need weibliche Kontakt.

I hope someone reads this......your friend (liebe Gruesse) spence

Nachrichten von den USA

Heute ist 11. 9. schon wieder. Ich habe aus Angst den Fernseher nicht angeschaltet. Jeder Kanal, jeder Politiker, jede Firma nutzt die Chance, um unsere Gefuehle zu wecken. Fuer mich ist der Tag nicht unbedingt traurig, sondern eine gute Zeit darueber zu sprechen und in den Nachrichten zu lesen, was in den letzten 5 Jahren geschehen ist.

Mir wichtiger ist was vor ein paar Tagen passiert ist. Ich war in Boston waehren eines Besuches von MIT. Dort, in einer Kneipe, haltete ich ein Gespraech mit Freunden. Das Thema der Sprache ist aufgetaucht und meine asiatische Freunde sagten, "Ich glaube, dass unser Englisch besser waere, haette ich oefter Englisch gesprochen und nicht so oft Chinesisch." Darum bin ich neugerig, wie gut ihr Englisch war.

Ich habe erzaehlt, "Viele meiner deutschen Freunden hatten Probleme zur Verstehen manche schwarze Amerikaner, wie Chris Rock oder Rapper usw." "Can you understand black people?"

Sie haben "ja" gesagt, aber plotzlich sass ein schwarzer Amerikaner neben mir. Er war ziemlich angepisst. Sehr nah meinem Gesicht und sehr aggresiv, fragte er, "Ich sizte dort daneben und habe gehoert, als du laut genug gefagt hast, fuer mich zu hoeren, ob sie schwarze verstehen koennen. Ich finde das fucking rassistisch. Was meinst du, kannst du black people verstehen? Kannst du mich verstehen?"

"Uh, ja, aber du versehst nicht was ich meintete." Ich habe versucht, ihm unser Gespraech zu erklaeren, ohne vielen Erfolg. Er wollte unbedingt, meinen rassistischen Arsch treten.

Und ich verstehe seine Seite. Er hat zuerst den Rest unserer Unterhaltung nicht gehoert, nur diesen einzeln Satz. Ohne die Zussamenhang hoert es doch rassistisch an. Ausserdem waere ein schwarzer Freund von mir da gewesen, haette ich diesen Satz anders gesprochen. Vielleicht eher, "Hast du auch Schwierigkeiten mit manchen schwarzen Akzenten?" Dennoch dieser Typ wollte nicht diskutieren. Er entschied sich schon, dass ich ein komplett Rassist bin, und ein besonderer boeser Rassist. Also, es gab kein Raum fuer Gestaendnisse oder Verstaendnisse.

Am Ende hat er mich bedroht und geschimpft und ist wieder zu seiner Freundin gegangen. Danach hat er mit ein paar anderen Leuten gesprochen, die mir spaeter schlechte Miene gegeben haben. Richtig: ich bin der boeser Rassist.

Ich erklaere diesen Vorfall, weil es aufregend war, aber auch weil es interessant war. Er war doch halb richtig. Ich haette das nicht so ausdrucken sollen und habe nicht daran gedacht, wie viele Schwarze, hier in den USA, ohne Akzent sprechen. Irgendwie sind nur diejenige, mit starken Akzent im Fernseher gelangen. Aber ich koennte das nicht sagen, weil er einfach so aggro war. Also, es ist gut, Mut zu haben und Leute manchmal zu kaempfen, um etwas zu verteidigen, aber man muss auch vernunftig bleiben und die Ohren nicht schliessen.

Und danach habe ich auch daran gedacht, dass in Deutschland und Frankreich, sind manche rassistische Sachen, verboten zu sagen. Aber was ist rassistisch? Ich meine das nicht zu sagen, dass diese Gesetze in Europa falsch sind, sondern ich frage nur wie es schwierig sein koennte, etwas zu bestimmen. Und wenn solche Gesetze hier in den USA existierten, haette was ich sagte verboten sein koennen. Es gibt ganz viel Druck hier, nichts negativ ueber Schwarze zu sagen. Und Leute werden langsam darueber veraergert. (es ist ein bisschen wie in Deutschland, wie manche Leute wollen weniger ueber den zweiten Weltkrieg hoeren.) Leider gibt es viel Rassismus noch in den USA, aber Leute sprechen darueber nicht oder merken es nicht mehr, weil es untergedruckt ist. Aber darueber zu sprechen ist so sensibel und man wird so schnell als Rassist angeschuldigt, wie kann man es ansprechen?

Also, ich will sagen, dass vielleicht die Mehrheit von Rassismus kommt nicht von dem KKK oder NPD oder Iran, sondern von Leute, die unwissend sind. Ich jeder ist unwissend, ich inklusiv. Wir koennen uns schlicht nicht ueber jede Sache der Welt informieren. Und manchmal wenn wir unsere Meingungen sagen, sind sie insensibel oder rassistisch, obwohl wir das nicht gewusst oder gemeint haben. (Denk mal darueber. Das ist mindestens ein mal zu jedem passiert.) Und fuer die Leute, die von diesen Aussagen verletzt sind, duerfen sie uns nicht angreifen. Sie muessen uns nicht mit der NPD verwechseln, obwohl was wir gesagt haben, war total ausser Ordnung. Sie muessen nicht agressiv reagieren und geben uns die Moeglichkeit zu gestehen, dass es falsch war, dass zu sagen. Aber wenn wir dass immer noch nicht sagen, dann kann man ueberlegen, aggressiver zu werden. Trotzdem jemanden zu bedrohen, soll man fast nie machen, weil das fast nie etwas loest. Also, mindestens wenn du nicht zuerst bedroht wurdest.

Andere Nachrichten.....Ich will eine deutsche Sprachpruefung beim Goethe Insitut schreiben und vielleicht bei einem Drogenrehabilitationszentrum arbeiten. Meine Tante ist die Direktorin von einem und ich will mehr lernen, wie das Leben ist, fuer die Leute, die eine Erziehung nicht hatten, die wie meine war.

Tut mir leid, wenn das so moralisierend war. Es war mehr fuer mich als fuer euch. Nur eine gute Geschichte.